Archive | September, 2009

Love Letter #2: Buffalo '66

29 Sep

buffalo

buffalo 66

Dear Buffalo ’66,

You tell the age old love story of a recent prison releasee who kidnaps a young girl, pretends she is his wife and then takes her home to meet his parents. (I believe it first appeared in The Illiad.) You are perhaps the funniest, sweetest, quirkiest love story ever. After watching the photo booth scene I want to span time even though I have no idea how to do it or what it means exactly. That is true love, my friends.

Meet Billy Brown:

cutest ever

cutest ever

I’m sorry you had such a shitty life Billy, but it’s okay, I still love you. And you know what? Kidnapping is normally bad (very bad) but when you do it it’s okay, because you are so utterly clueless about it, it’s ADORABLE. Like how you make THE GIRL YOU JUST KIDNAPPED get out and clean her windshield before you leave the parking lot. Or how you make THE GIRL YOU JUST KIDNAPPED get out and switch places with you because you don’t how to drive a ‘shifter car’. Aw.

kidnapped

Ricci-nap in progress

flithy

"Your window is filthy, how do you drive with a window this filthy?"

shifter car

Billy is used to luxury cars that shift themselves. In prison.

Also Billy, I love your red boots. If only every man wore red boots…

red boots

You can imagine what a family get together is like in a family where the son feels its necessary to lie about his whereabouts for the past five years. AWKWARD. And SAD. Very SAD. His parents (especially his dad) like his ‘wife’ a lot;  his mom tries to send him into anaphylactic shock; there are dinner table fights; and to cap things off, his dad lip synchs Sinatra to his ‘wife’.

meet the parents

"You're so much chestier than Billy."

allergic

"I have always been allergic to chocolate, mom."

dinner

"Maybe I will have a roll, thank you very much!"

singing

croonin' it

 Know what else I love about you, Billy? You bowl so good! And your ‘wife’ is good at tap dancing! In the bowling alley! Impromptu bowling alley tap dancing!

bowling

bowling1

gettin' jiggy wit it

gettin' jiggy wit it

 Then there’s the BEST SCENE EVER. The photo booth scene. I’ll let the photos speak for themselves: 

photo1

photo2

 photo3

And then there’s Goon. How could I forget Goon? Goon, I love you.

"goon goon goon goon goon goon"

"goon goon goon goon goon goon"

And then there’s this scene, which makes me wish I was in love (for reals).

adorable 2

adorable1

adorable

Buffalo ’66, I love you so much I want to marry you.

Love,

Freckles

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Flashforward: kind of a dud.

26 Sep
Arms on hips=real acting

Arms on hips=real acting

Hm. I just watched the Flashforward pilot on ABC and I was underwhelmed. They revealed so much already it’s like they were afraid people would shut it off if they didn’t know why everything was happening right away. 

“Honey, why is this man wearing such ill-fitting blue jeans?”

“I don’t know. Just shut it off.” 

your parents

So much of it could have been revealed gradually, to you know, create SUSPENSE. Because suspense is good. Like how much bullshit is it that Mark figured out the flashes were of the future about an hour after they happened? He was like, “it was so much more vivid than a hallucination and I was holding a piece of calendar for the date of April 29th 2010, so there’s only one explaination…THE FUTURE” and then Seth McFarlane backed him up so we know he was right.

"If you squint, you can see the future."

"If you squint, you can see the future."

And of course the press has a handle on everything right away because we all know journalists aren’t real people and when catastropic events happen they aren’t affected so they can get to work right away. “We need to find out if any other cities blacked out too–get Paris on the line! Someone call China! Someone get me Canada–for christ sakes where is my headline! …amatuers, you’re all amatuers.”

And what about John Cho’s flashforward being of nothing? So John Cho may be dead within 6 months? BIG TIME PLOT! And they just breezed on by like no one cares about John Cho. I CARE ABOUT JOHN CHO.

And Mark’s wife’s flashforward was of her with another man. This was mysterious for two reasons. First, she seems to be in love with Mark, (she leaves him loving messages that say things like “fuck you man, I hope you die” all the time) and second, she has never seen this other man before. By the end of the episode both of these are revealed. We know she probably leaves Mark because he relapses in his drinking, and the other man is revealed to be the father of a patient (btw: she is a doctor. who isn’t?) C’mon show! NO SUSPENSE.

And then they show us one guy who didn’t pass out, and he is just walking around at a baseball game like normal. WTF. Couldn’t that have waited? Oh no, the one FBI agent who doesn’t have a boyfriend thought it would be funtimes to look at hours of security footage of people passing out around the world and she happened to spot the TINY SPECK of man walking around in the stands at a Tigers game. SOMEONE NEEDS TO GET LAID (and we know she does because in her flashforward she is pregnant).

Also, I didn’t really care for any of the characters (other than John Cho, I mean its John Cho, have you seen Star Trek?) and WHERE IS CHARLIE I NEED TO HAVE A BRITISH PERSON ON THIS SHOW WHO IS NOT FORCED TO SPEAK IN A TERRIBLE AMERICAN ACCENT.

All in all I felt like they were dumbing it down more than they needed to. Did anyone else see it? Have any thoughts?

friday night bundt

25 Sep

title

This episode starts off with the blond chick (Caroline) waking up next to naked Damon (!) in her sexy lingerie (you know, what typical 16 teen-year olds wear, it’s probably from Forever 21). She sees the bite on her neck and remembers the night before (freaky sex and neck biting) so she tries to sneak out except everything in her room is squeaky and Damon is a vampire.

Acting

acting

BTW, Caroline has a really cool foot tattoo.

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

"I can't resist lingerie from Forever 21"

"I can't resist lingerie from Forever 21"

Damon stops her and throws her on the bed and bites her again, and everyone is like, “Oh no, is that blond girl going to be alright?” (No, no we’re not).

At school, things are great between Elena and her new boyfriend Stefan (which everyone pronounces like ‘Steff-in’ even though it should be like ‘Stefawn’; not to mention his last name, which everyone pronounces as ‘Salvator’ as if there’s no ‘e’ at the end even though it should be ‘Salvator-ay’ because Italian and it’s not like anyone is going to think he’s less suspicious or whatever if his name is not so obviously taken straight out of Authentic Italian Names for People Born in the Renaissance Era).

So Elena and Stefan are just walking through the quad (that’s a thing right? or are there only quads in movie high schools? I don’t know) when Douche is like, “I’m going to throw this football at Stefan’s head to embarass him” except Stefan is like, “try it sister” and then he turns around really fast and catches the ball just before it hits his face and everyone is impressed.

This is what a douche looks like throwing a football.

This is what a douche looks like throwing a football.

 3 face catch

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

Of course Elena is the most impressed, and she is like, “I didn’t know you played football,” and Stefan is like, “I played awhile ago.” Get it? He played awhile ago? Like he probably played football for the Jamestown Scarlet Fevers or something back in the Colonial Era when they were still using stillborn babies as the ball. And he was the best at it.

Stefan is also the best at knowing things that the dickface history teacher doesn’t, and he once again makes that guy look like the dickface he is.

3 dick

Then there’s a scene with Stefan watching the football team on the bleachers by himself, remincising about his days of throwing stillborn babies into the endzone for the game winning touchdown.

Thinking back on simpler times.

Thinking back on simpler times.

He decides he misses it and wants to join the team at Spookyville High or where ever the hell this show is set and of course he makes the team because he is the bomb diggity, yo! 

I’ll give you one guess who the coach is:

3 dick

Now that Stefan is on the football team, we find out Elena is a cheerleader! Nevermind that Elena looks like someone Stefan was in love with 100 years ago, if he plays football and she leads cheer, then they are made for each other! Yay!

3 skinny

Problem is, she sucks. And also she is very very skinny. Can’t someone over at Top Model persuade Tyra to donate some of her bloody red meat to poor Elena because she is starving.

This is what happens to the models that get kicked off. RIP Lulu

This is what happens to the models that get kicked off. RIP

Damon and his new pawn girlfriend Caroline drive up and of course Caroline is the head cheerleader and she leads their routine which looks like this:

Caroline choreographed it. She’s pretty much the best choreographer at Spookyville High.

While Elena is sucking at cheerleading, Stefan is blowing everyone’s minds with his amazing skillz and he is like the new star wide reciever (football!) or whatever. By the end of practice he is like, “I better do one thing wrong or else everyone will be suspicious (?) of my skillz” so he lets Douche tackle him and he breaks his pinkie.

Owie

owie

Bonnie tells Elena more about her psychicness and Elena is like, “I don’t care if you touched Stefan and it was like death, you’re not actually psychic,” and Bonnie is like, “well what about the numbers 8, 14 and 22? huh? what about that?” Elena just shrugs her shoulders and then tells Bonnie she has to come over for dinner with her and Stefan that night.  

That night for dinner Elena needs a big spoon for some reason and doesn’t know where it is IN HER OWN KITCHEN but Bonnie does because she might be psychic. Elena isn’t very impressed but you know the next time she needs a bottle opener to do some more TEEN DRINKING she’s totally going to call Bonnie and ask her. It’s actually very convenient.

Stefan arrives and Bonnie is like, “I’m going to be very terse and not like you unless you compliment me,” so Stefan says, “Salem witches are the best witches,” and Bonnie says “I’m a Salem witch…okay, we’re friends now,” and Elena is like, “mission accomplished,” and then the door bell rings and surprise! Damon and Caroline want to join the party and there’s this comedy bit where Damon can’t come in unless Elena invites him in so Stefan is like, “he has to leave actually,” and Damon’s like, “nuh-uh” and Stefan’s like, “yes-huh” and Caroline is like, “just come in already!” and Elena’s “yeah, come in I guess” and Damon wins, so Stefan makes a sad face.

"Damon always wins everything!"

"Damon always wins everything!"

Anyway, Damon and Caroline brought a bundt cake!

3 bundt

I’m pretty sure Damon is the one that picked it out at the grocery store. He was like, “trust me, everyone loves bundt. I served it to Mussolini once and he raved for months,” and Caroline was like, “that Oreo pie looks pretty good,” and Damon was like, “I SAID WE’RE GETTING A BUNDT AND THAT’S THAT!” So Caroline grabs the bundt and shuffles away to the checkout really fast and the two ladies that were shopping in the background saw the whole thing and they just give each other this look that says, “abusive relationship.” Abusive bundt relationship.

After enjoying the bundt everyone gathers in the living room where Damon says everyone he and Stefan ever loved has died all around them and then he tries to bring up Katherine again but Stefan glares at him really hard cuz that’s how he do. And to change the subject he does his John McCain impression.

3 john mccain

Elena and Damon bond over dishes and Damon tells her that Katherine died “in a fire, a tragic fire,” because not all fires are tragic.

"Can I eat you when my brother isn't looking?"

"Can I eat you when my brother isn't looking?"

3 dishes2

We also find out that Damon is glamouring Caroline to make her forget he is scary and also to make her wear a scarf because scarves are so in right now.

Later that night Elena and Stefan are totes making out on Elena’s bed and as she’s taking off his shirt he turns into Damon and this is so disgusting to Elena that she flies backward and screams.

It's...hideous

It's...hideous

What? If I was making out with a guy and he turned into Ian Somerhalder I wouldn’t be such a bitch about it. Get over it Elena! You were tricked into kissing Ian Somerhalder, boo fucking hoo!

Oh well, turns out its just a dream.

"I love it when you dream about me."

"I love it when you dream about me."

At the big football game the next night, Stefan gives Elena a necklace full of herbs. Whoa Stefan! This is only like your third time seeing Elena, maybe you should save your herb-filled necklaces for your first date? (next episode plug)

3 necklace

Meanwhile, Mini McQueen is all mopey because Vicki won’t screw him his parents died, so he gets drunk and gets into a fight with Douche. They are all rolling around and puching each other for reals when that stupid goody goody Stefan interferes and breaks it up, but not before his hand gets sliced with a broken liquor bottle (typical high school football game stuff). Elena sees Stefan’s hand get cut, but it heals really fast so Stefan is like, “not my blood, see” and he wipes his hand off and stares at Elena like she is stupid. Nice.

3 stefan's blood

3 no blood

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

Since Elena is sure she saw Stefan get cut she begins to think maybe Bonnie was right about him… then she goes to a very dark, very deserted parking lot for some reason, and you can guess who shows up. The King of Lonely and Confused Girls in Dark Places: Damon. He’s being all creepy regular and flirty but Elena ain’t havin’ none o’ dat so he tries to glamor her, but it doesn’t work! He wanted her to kiss him, but instead she slapped him!

Go go glamour eyeball

Go go glamour eyeball

Damon's bitch gets slapped

Damon's bitch gets slapped

WHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT?????? ELENA CAN RESIST GLAMOURING? SHE’S SOOOOOOO SUUUUUUUPER SPEEEEECIALLL!!!

Turns out, no, she’s not. It was just the herbs in her necklace that made glamouring not work on her.

After that Damon finds Stefan, and for some reason he basically tells him he tried to put the moves on Elena, and because Stefan is such a pussy he does nothing about it. He doesn’t even get mad. Pussy. He just says, “you still love Katherine; you’re human,” so Damon is like, “yeah, well human this!” because guess who shows up behind them:

3 dick

And Damon has to make a point that he is NOT HUMAN!

"That dickface looks mighty tasty"

"That dickface looks mighty tasty"

So the dickface teacher/coach is dead now, and as Bonnie looks at the crime scene she sees this:

3 8

3 14

3 22

And since those were the numbers she wouldn’t shut up about for the entire episode, she makes this face:

"Huh?!"

"Huh?!"

Maybe she really is pyschic. But I doubt it. I mean, that would be a little too crazy for this show!

For next week’s episode we’re all ‘invited to a party to die for’ (please tell me someone actually dies. DOUCHE! DIE PLEASE.) and Damon and Stefan are in a room with the ‘same people that killed Katherine’ and everyone notices that Caroline has bites marks all over her because scarves can only cover so much of your body.

Love Letter #1: Dexter

22 Sep

Dexter_TV_Series_Title_Card

Dear Dexter,

Dreadfully dreamy Dexter, I love you. I don’t even care that you are a serial killer or that you sometimes wear Hawaiian tee shirts.

Okay, so maybe I loved you a little less in season 3 when you weren’t as funny and there was that storyline with Yuki and that one cop who transferred from Boston. I wanted to punch both of them in the face.

Seriously, you need to be punched.

Seriously, you need to be punched.

"I think I can help you with that."

"I think I can help you with that."

But I can’t stay mad at you Dexter. Because I love you. Remember that time you and Rudy packaged things the same way you packaged dead bodies? LOL

Or the time Deb asked if you wanted to get breakfast and you told her no because you were ‘freshly bageled’? That has now entered my vocabulary as a thing that I say, even when I’m not actually freshly bageled. Like if a guy asks me to dinner and I don’t want to, all I have to say is, “Thank you, but I’m freshly bageled.”

"That's a thing non-serial killers say, right?"

"That's a thing non-serial killers say, right?"

Even though I know you can be bad (murdering is bad), you are also thoughtful and that makes me love you even more. I’ll never forget how you helped Camilla when she was in pain.

"I hope this pie tastes like Key Lime and not death."

"I hope this pie tastes like Key Lime and not death."

But even though you can be sweet sometimes, you still take care of buisness when you have to.

She knows what I'm talking about.

You know what I'm talking about.

Dexter, I can’t wait for season 4 because I know it is going to be perfect.  And I hope you make more bagel jokes.

Love,

Freckles

night of the huge frigging comet

19 Sep

title

This week on As the World Vampires The Vampire Diaries, we start things off with a bang (I mean Damon kills some people no one cares about). Then we get to the good stuff when Elena starts off the day with this diary entry: “for once I don’t regret the day before,” then Stefan wakes up and writes in his diary “what she said,” and then they both go to school where they intense stare at each other all day.

Meanwhile, Elena’s little bro, or Mini McQueen, confronts the douche who left his girlfriend in the dark, foggy woods to be bitten by Damon an animal. He calls the guy a dick and threatens to ‘kill him’ for obvious reasons: he is a douche. Douche is like, “Damn, that sounded like a death threat!”

I know what the word 'kill' means

I know what the word 'kill' means

Stefan superhears Elena’s ex-bf (I will know his name at some point, I hope) say that his little sister thinks she was attacked by a vampire, so Stefan superwalks to the hospital and gets all Bill Compton on our asses by glamoring her into thinking she was just attacked by an animal.

You were attacked by a rabid deer

You were attacked by a rabid deer

On his way out there are bags of blood everywhere because of how hosiptals leave them in the same hallway the public uses.

blood!

 Stefan’s tummy rumbles but he’s like, “be stong little tiger,” and leaves.

As this is happening, Elena goes to Stefan’s house for some reason I don’t remember and she walks right in because the door is cracked open (jeez, this show) and the house is all Victorian Vampire Chic or whatever and then a crow flys into her face and it is Damon.

sneaking in

 

always one to make a dramatic entrance

always one to make a dramatic entrance


I morphed behind her so she doesn't know it was me

I morphed behind her so she doesn't know it was me

 He’s all creepy nice and says, “I’m Stefan’s Italian brother, has Stefan told you about Katherine yet?” and Elena’s like, “what” and then Stefan shows up and he’s all angry eyebrows and “get out of here Elena.” After Elena leaves Boone says, “she has spunk.” What? Why does she have spunk? Because she came into your Gothic castle house uninvited? I call that tresspassing, not spunk.

we both shop at Abercrombie & Vampire

we both shop at Abercrombie & Vampire

That night everyone gets together and holds a candle light vigil for…a comet? I don’t get it. Nevermind. Stefan describes it as “a ball of snow and ice, trapped on a path that it can’t escape. once every 145 years it gets to come home.” METAPHORS.  Then they show the comet everyone is looking at and it is fucking HUGE and DOESN’T MOVE.

that is just like every other comet I've ever seen

that is just like every other comet I've ever seen

I don’t mean to be Professor Comets overhere, but I’m pretty sure that is not how comets work. Comets don’t move slower than an inch a minute and are almost as big as the moon. I guess nobody in this town knows anything about space or typical things that people know about because no one seems to notice how weird this comet is. “That is a completly normal comet,” they say. Oops, I almost forgot. This show is on the CW.

cwcw1cw3

Vicki is out of the hospital now (damn, I know) and she sees Damon in a cafe (I don’t know what he is doing there, unless they make special blood cappuccinos) and she’s like, “I know you,” and he’s like “that is too bad” then he follows her into the bathroom and attacks her face.

eat face

Stefan uses his supervampire powers to see that Damon is holding Vicki over the edge of a roof directly across the street from him.

roof top

He superjogs over there and is like, “stop that” and Damon is like, “no” then he glamours Vicki into thinking Stefan is an evil bloodthirsty vampire and he rips off her neck bandaid and throws her at Stefan. Stefan is like  “mmm, blood” and his eyes get all black and Vicki is hysterical and Damon is like “do it! then we can be BFF’s again” But Stefan is like, “those days are over,” and he throws Vicki on the ground because of how he is the nice one.

Boone unglamours Vicki and she chalks it up to behing high. DON’T DO DRUGS KIDS IT WILL MAKE YOU FORGET THE LAST TIME YOU WERE GLAMOURED BY BOONE!

Then Elena is suddenly in this episode again and she says, “I need to do what I meant to do all day,” and that is visit Stefan, so she goes and sees him and he eyebrow acts all over her and they kiss and it is just okay really epic.

kiss

Oh yeah, the blond chick sees Damon staring at her in a parking lot so she takes him home to bang it out and then he gets hungry and bites her.

eat you

The previews for the next episode look great because Stefan is like, “I’m auditiong for the role of BEST FOOTBALL PLAYER OF ALL TIME BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING VAMPIRE,” and then he and Elena go all the way (football humor).

the beginning

19 Sep

Another day another vampire. The Vampire Diaries!  I have decided I’m going to recap this show every week. Here is the pilot.

title

 

A couple is driving home late at night and the girl is like, “why is it so foggy” and the guy is like “because weather” and then they run over someone. The guy gets out to look at what they hit and he sees this ring:

Damon's ring

And then he gets killed because it is rude to look at other people’s rings.

totes deceased

totes deceased

The girl tries to run away, but its hard to run from something when you don’t know where it is (especially if it is flying) and she gets killed too.

Enough of these dead losers, let’s get to the main characters!

Elena is all sad about her dead parents and the aunt that she’s staying with now is pretty much Kate Hudson in Raising Helen, i.e. she’s “too young” and “to  hip” be a mom but she’s trying anyway. Elena goes to school with her friend, the one black girl in the whole town, who says she is psychic. Elena ignores her and then they hit a stick.

stick

At school Elena sees her ex who pretends not to see her because she dumped him over the summer when her parents died. Hey ex, stop being such a prick. Her parents are DEAD! Then the black girl makes an Air Supply joke. 2009 everybody!

Oh yeah, Elena’s little brother is a drug dealer.

I am annoying

I am annoying

Elena  sees her brother rush into the bathroom and she follows him in there because she knows he’s high, not that he has to take a dump or anything. Then she lectures him about dead parents and drugs and stuff. As she’s leaving the men’s bathroom she runs into the hot transfer and its awkward.

I'm going to fake use the men's room too.

I'm going to fake use the men's room too.

Now he’ll never forget her! Aw. He introduces himself as Stefan Salvatore (authentic Italian name!) and Elena is dumbstruck by his eyebrows:

dumb

She really can’t get enough:

mesmerized

Then Elena goes to the cemetary to write in her diary like a normal person and it starts to get foggy and a crow that is obviously significant to the story somehow starts to bother her.  She sees the fog and is like, “why the fuck does someone have fog machine out here?” and she runs away and falls down because duh and then Stefan is there and he is like “did you hurt yourself?” and she checks her leg and it is very bloody. She is like, “oopsie!” and Stefan eyes get all black and he has to run away so he doesn’t eat her.

black eyes 1

Stefan goes home and is like, “dear diary I lost control today because I really want to eat Elena,” and then we feel bad for him because he really wanted to eat her but he didn’t because he is a nice vampire.

Somewhere else, Elena’s ex and a douche whose girlfriend bought drugs from Elena’s little brother (who is Steven McQueen’s grandson! Mini Mcqueen!) are talking and we find out Elena’s ex is the big brother of the douche’s girlfriend, and Mini McQueen is in in love with her but she just wants him to go away. (I’m pretty sure none of that made any sense. Sorry.)

I can't take a hint.

I can't take a hint.

Apparently, Stefan’s fav color is blue and he is a Gemini. Thank you for being in this show blond girl.

I'm needy

I'm needy

Stefan stalks finds Elena at her house and returns her diary that she dropped in the cemetary and they have a moment when he tells her he keeps a diary too. Then they go to the local hip cafe together and everyone is scandalized. Elena’s friends ask him all kinds of prying questions and he reveals his parents are dead too, and then everyone is looking back and forth between him and Elena like they are meant for each other.

Stefan goes home to where he lives with his ‘uncle’ who is really his nephew who thinks he killed the couple from the beginning of the episode. Stefan isn’t too worried about it and is like, “nope, not me” and nephew says “people will remember you from your past here” and it is obvious he wishes Stefan would leave.

Stefan opens his old time wardrobe and looks at his collection of antique books and he pulls out a picture of Elena he printed out in sepia tone except it is not Elena because it says “Katherine 1864” underneath it in old timey cursive.  

katherine

The next day Stefan owns the history teacher with his superior knowledge of the town’s history because he “just read about at the library” which is code for he “lived there when it happened a hundred years ago” and everyone is like “this guy is awesome” because everyone loves people who are really smart in high school.

That night everyone goes to a party and there’s TEEN DRINKING! Elena’s black friend (Bonnie is her name!) touches Elena’s beer bottle and has a vision of “a crow and fog and a man”. Things are getting kinky! Stefan appears next to Elena and they adorable at each other and Elena tells him how her parents drove off a bridge and she was in the car too and they died but she didn’t. Not funny.

Meanwhile, douche and his girlfriend are making out in the woods and then he leaves her out there alone because she wouldn’t duet with him and then it starts to get foggy and you know what that means! Vampire attack! And of course Mini McQueen finds her and she’s not dead and its very dramatic and Stefan knows it was a vampire and he runs away.

Back at Stefan’s house Ian Somerholder finally shows up and for some reason Stefan calls him Damon and not Boone.

My name is not Boone.

My name is not Boone.

They are brothers and he is very cheeky and male-modely and also he is evil because he teases Stefan. Damon says that the only reason Stefan came back to this town is to stalk love Elena, and he starts teasing him about eating squirrels and then Stefan is like “I’m going to completly disregard the fact that I’m living in my nephew’s house and tackle you out of this second story window” and then Damon makes fun of him some more and Stefan says, “stay away from Elena!” Then there’s some talk about the fancy ring they both wear being able to shield them from the sunlight. Damon kicks Stefan’s ass just to make a point, then he goes back inside to claim the top bunk.

The blond chick doens’t seem to realize that one of her classmates was just attacked in the forest so she just goes on complaining about how none of the guys want her and they all want Elena and then she sees Damon in the cafe staring at her and she is like “finally someone wants me” and we all know where this is going.

At the hospital, the girl who got bit wakes up and says it was a vampire that bit her to Elena’s ex and he is like “that is weird but you probably know what you are talking about”.

The episode ends with Elena writing in her diary and Stefan watching her through her window and then she invites him in and the end.