True Blood Dinner Party, Y'all S03EP1: Here we go again

13 Jun

Yummy! This episode of True Blood was delicious! It tasted like fried chicken and mashed potatoes and corn-on-the-cob and biscuits! And also Bill on Sam sex dreamz. YAY!

Oh man not a lot happened in this episode, but that’s kind of my always complaint with this show. And I know this is only the first episode and all, but can Tara just kill herself already? She is just yelling at everyone so much and choking Sookie all the time over a guy she knew for like a week and for all she knows murdered a bunch of people and was named Eggs. EGGS. Tara’s the worst. Other than Evan Rachel Wood, who is obviously the MEGA WORST. She delivers her lines like a cardboard cutout of a bored robot that sleeps with Marilyn Manson.

So as we all know (because we all watch this show all the time duh) last season ended as Sookie ran out of the bathroom yelling, “Yes Bill Compton, I will marry you!” only to find Bill wasn’t there anymore, just an overturned chair and some lukewarm meatloaf. Haha Sookie, too late! Bill has been kidnapped by werewolves who like to drink his blood and rub their nipples at the same time. So this guy is a werewolf? Weird. Anyway, Bill escapes and eats an old woman to get back his strength and then he has to fight a bunch of wolves. Don’t die Bill! Or do die, either way.

And Eric is back! This is great for me because I love gigantic Nords. Nordics? I don’t know. Anyway, this:

Nordic booty.

He is all up in Sookie’s business in this scene, and she has to pretend like she’s all worried about her kidnapped almost fiance, but we all know she loves it. At first Eric says he will help find Bill because he is the Sheriff of his district or whatever the phuck but then he realizes it might be better for Bill to die because he knows that Eric has been illegally selling vampire blood to humans and if Bill is gone then Eric can get away with it easier. WHATEVER KEEPS YOUR CLOTHES OFF FOR LONGER.

Jason is having a really hard time dealing with how he shot Eggs in the head and all (for which Andy is taking the blame because he is a cop? I don’t remember why this was a good idea). He is having such a hard time that he can’t even get it up for a threesome with some girls without imagining them with bullet holes in their heads. Boo hoo. (Just kidding, PTS is very serious and sad. But Jason is an ass clown.)

And Sam, my favorite character, who isn’t on the show enough, is finally given what might be an interesting storyline in which he goes searching for his family that gave him up for adoption. He finds who is probably his little bro Tommy at a gas station, and is like, “Are you Tommy?” And Tommy is like, “Congratulations, you can read,” because he is wearing a shirt that has a name tag on it. It looks like Sam’s little bro Tommy is a total dick. Sorry Sam, they can’t all be as good as you! Oh and dream more please!

One of the side effects of a human drinking vampire blood is that they will have sex dreamz about the vampire. True facts.

Also: Tara’s mom is totes trying to get in her Pastor’s pants and the ginger human lady is pregnant with Terry’s baby (hopefully Terry’s baby! Terry who has PTS too and is not an ass clown, but great!) and the ginger vampire lady killed a dude and Hoyt is heartbroken and Lafayette is still wearing glitter.

Oh and Eggs is still dead.


3 Responses to “True Blood Dinner Party, Y'all S03EP1: Here we go again”

  1. bittenblog June 14, 2010 at 1:30 am #

    Yeah, I agree that there wasn’t a lot happening in this episode…but I do think it was a good episode to start off the season. Personally, seeing Eric’s naked hot ass and seeing that hot sexy dream between Sam and Bill made this an amazing episode…lol


    • itsfreckles June 14, 2010 at 5:30 am #

      Yeah, I really can’t complain that much about nothing happening, since it did set up the plotlines for the rest of the season and all. That dream was the best because it caught me off guard and there was so much squealing in the room it was hilarious after.

  2. Emmalee June 15, 2010 at 9:54 pm #

    I’m pretty sure that Nords isn’t right, but I love it.

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