Archive | April, 2010

Okay, time for a blogcation!

30 Apr

I’m going to take a break from blogging for a little while. Or a long while. We’ll see.

Sorry about not finishing this season of The Vampire Diaries, but I was trying to watch last night’s episode and I just couldn’t. It has become terrible and predictable, rather than terrible and ridiculous, like True Blood, which is really dumb, but at least there was always a demon ostrich egg or meat statue to surprise me.

Also, finals are around the corner and the less distractions, the better.

I figure I should leave you with some sage advice or something, and since I give terrible advice, here’s some from one of my favorite advice-givers, Lemony Snicket:

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.

Lemony’s the best. Anyway, I hope we’re all cowabunga on this and I’ll see you on the flipside! (I’m sorry.)

Stay tough everybody!


Quote of the day 04.28.10

28 Apr

Can I sit on it?

–Angelea, about the sheep she was standing next to on a photo shoot, on America’s Next Top Model

Oh Lord, Vampire Diaries fans, what now?

25 Apr

I was on tumblr this morning when I came across Fuck Yeah Vampire Diaries Secrets, a blog where people submit ‘secret’ thoughts & desires about the show; it’s something like Post Secret for people who don’t have lives.

This person got it right:

I like the big red stamp on her face in the second picture so much I’ll give you a pass for misspelling ‘too.’

Then I saw these about Jeremy and Weredouche, and it made me feel like I must be missing something…

Haha, “Please fuck now,” indeed.

If anyone is handy with photoshop I highly recommend submitting something hilarious, but not too mean, so they will actually post it. If you do, let me know which one it is and I’ll repost it here so we can all admire it!

The Vampire Diaries S01EP19: You get to take a time-out in the basement!

24 Apr

[Note: Sorry this is so late! I had an assignment due last night at midnight, and I finished it at 11:57; needless to say, I didn’t have any time to work on the recap. I also wanted to say that this recap is going to be a bit shorter than usual, as I am doing it entirely from memory (usually I recap as I watch), so it will probably be grossly inaccurate and even more ridiculous than usual.]

If you’re wondering what happened last week: nothing much!

THIS WEEK, Spookyville is holding its annual Founder’s Ball, which is just another reason for the rich white people in the community to get together and talk about how rich and white they are. Bonnie reminds Elena that she entered the competition to be Miss Mystic Falls, which Elena forgot about, because vampires. Caroline thinks she deserves to win (if the ‘winner’ of this ‘competition’ is awarded with a one way ticket to getting the hell off this show, then yes, I agree, Caroline should definitely win), but she’s afraid Elena might get a sympathy vote because her parents are dead.

"I am a piece of shit."

Elena doesn’t really want to continue being in the competition, but Bonnie reminds her that her parents are dead. Oh! Bonnie is back! She explains that things were just too hard after Gran died to come back to school, so that’s why she’s been gone for four episodes. Um, I’m pretty sure you can’t just not come to school for weeks because a family member you didn’t even live with dies. I mean, I guess I have no idea how much time has passed since Gran died; for all I know, The Vampire Diaries could be the 24 of shitty supernatural teen dramas, and everything so far has taken place in one day. Elena is like, “Remember when I first found out you were a vampire, and then we fell in love, and then we thought Damon maybe killed my real mom?” Stefan is like, “Yeah, that happened two hours ago.”

So Elena decides to be in the Founders Ball because her parents are dead, and Stefan is her escort, except he is addicted to human blood now, so he sucks at escorting. He didn’t even compliment Elena’s dress because all he can think about is his stash:

Stefan starts to have withdrawals before they even get to the dancing part, and he and Elena have some kind of dumb fight about something, so he storms off, punches a mirror, and kidnaps a girl. When Stefan freaks out, HE FREAKS OUT. Stefan takes the girl into the woods and tries really hard not to eat her, but his tummy hurts really bad, so he yells at her, then apologizes, then eats her anyway.

With Stefan off  in the woods, Elena doesn’t have anyone to escort her down a flight of stairs. Everyone is watching her, and she looks like a total LOSER. Everyone is like, “WHERE IS STEFAN?!” So Damon steps in, and it’s super scandalous, or something. Later on, Elena and Damon find Stefan eating that girl in the woods, and Damon stops him, but he is so angry he throws Damon into a tree and makes an angry face at Elena, who is like, “I’m sorry, but that is not your most attractive face.”

Nobody knows who Stefan is going to attack next because HE IS SUCH AN ADDICT, but Bonnie is just like, “I’m bored,” and uses her witch powers to make Stefan’s brain hurt so he will just give it up.

(insert own joke here)

Then Bonnie tells Elena that she is so over vampires and being Elena’s friend. She is like, “See ya, Elena! I’m going to go light some candles with my eyes and have loads more fun than you will with that pussy Stefan. Later, sucka!”  

So Stefan runs home (probably screaming “I’m a monster!” while little bitch tears stream down his face) and the Lady Sheriff finds the girl he was eating, who isn’t dead, just hurt. Turns out the girl doesn’t remember anything, so who cares? 

At the vampire chic castle, Stefan is pacing back and forth in his bedroom and thinking about his next score, when Elena comes in and pretends like she wants to help him, but instead she stabs him with a vervain stake and then she and Damon lock him in the basement. Great idea, guys. Really good thinking.

What everyone else was doing: Jeremy decides that he actually does like Anna (because Vicki is still DEAD, thank God), and Anna forgives him for being a dummy, and they are basically going to be a couple now. Pearl gives Damon some ‘invention’ that Olde Ancestor Gilbert made in 1850s. She has no idea what it does, but we all know it is going to be very important because DUH. Oh yeah, and Elena and Jeremy’s Uncle is on the show now, and it’s David Anders, basically reprising his role as Adam from Heroes, because he is invincible and also REALLY ANNOYING. Ally and Cool Aunt continue to be characters.  

Next Week: Elena feels bad for locking Stefan in the basement, and turns to Damon for comfort because she is so distraught. (That’s just a guess, but I think it’s a pretty good one.)

Kick-Ass: so good

21 Apr

I super loved this movie. It was just fun as hell to watch. And personally, I was not offended by the violence or cussing. I just wasn’t. I basically thought it was awesome. I do enjoy Tarantino films, and the occasional comic (everyone should read The Killing Joke and Ghostworld, they’re great) so I guess I’m not really wired to be offended by semi-humorous over-the-top violence set to pop music.

I liked this so much, I already can’t wait to see it again (which will be when it comes out on DVD. It’s great, but it’s no District 9)!

Grade: A-

No Vampire Diaries recap this week.

15 Apr

Too much to do and the charger on my laptop broke. Have a happy weekend!

Love Letter #9: Timothy Olyphant

12 Apr

Dear Timothy Olyphant, 

Oh Lord you are perfect.

Deadwood simply would not be as great if you weren’t Seth Bullock, a.k.a. The Badass Sheriff of Hotness. Not only is your face the prettiest thing on the show (unless there is some kind of gaping wound on it, which is a lot of times), but it is most expressive when it comes to repressed anger. Your acting in the season 1 finale was absolutely terrifying and titillating! Punch Alma’s dad in the face again please! Yay!

"Maybe I will. And maybe I will like it."

You had a string of ‘seedy’ type characters before Deadwood, including Go, and The Girl Next Door (remember that film? It was a run-of-the-mill teen sex comedy starring PAUL DANO and EMILE HIRSCH. Haha, everybody has to start somewhere!). Those movies were just alright; at least your face was in them, because your face is hot!

I think it’s hilarious that as well as acting, you do sportscasting for an LA radio station. Even cooler than that, when you you’re too busy to sportscast, you get CHRISTIAN FUCKING GLOVER to fill in. If Christian Glover always did sports reporting, then maybe I would care about sports! (No offense Timothy.)

And of course there’s Live Free or Die Hard, which I was in London for during the premiere, but didn’t stick around for BECAUSE I WAS 17 AND DIDN’T KNOW WHO YOU WERE, but now look back on as yet another devestatingly missed opportunity to meet and/or yell at a celebrity, like the time I saw Travis Barker at the airport, or DJ Qualls on the street in Florence, which would have been a prime opportunity to yell, “HEY NEW GUY!” and then have no follow up.

Anyway, back to you Timothy.  You’re on Justified now, which was great at first then just good then kinda of bad, but will hopefully get better. It’s just the writing that is sucking now though, not you! 🙂

And let’s not forget about Dreamcatcher.

Oops! Nevermind! I take it back, I meant LET’S forget about Dreamcatcher.